Leading : Stages And Styles

Further reflections on conversations with Mark Carey.


As noted in my previous post, discipleship is relational, directive, and involves both being a disciple (being led, or following) and making disciples (leading, and being followed).  This post is concerned with the stages of leading, and the styles appropriate to each stage, as we seek to lead according to the pattern of Jesus.


The first stage of leadership is an apostolic phase.  Its focus is casting vision.  The primary work is setting out revelation (this is what we are going to do) and the restraint (what we are not going to do) that comes with revelation (without revelation, restraint is cast off, and the potential for momentum dissipates).


The second stage of leadership is a pastor/teacher phase.  Its focus is embedding values.  The primary work is encouraging those who have responded to the first-stage vision to stay within the restraints established then, coaching them in the core values of the vision.  So, for example, if hospitality is a core value, we model what hospitality looks and feels like, in our context, with gradually increasing teaching following experience.

The third stage of leadership is an evangelistic phase.  Its focus is shared vocabulary.  By ‘evangelist’ I mean someone who, by natural preference, cannot help but communicate good news stories; and by evangelistic phase I mean taking on this discipline whether it is our natural preference or not.  In this stage of leadership, Jesus sends his disciples out to do the things he has been doing.  They can be entrusted with this because they have a shared understanding, a common ‘vocabulary’ for describing the in-breaking kingdom of heaven.  But they return to Jesus as the one who gathers-up their good news reports.  The primary work of third stage leadership is passing-on the good news stories concerning those we lead: no longer telling our stories, but telling theirs; the leader as collector and distributor.  So, for example, by the third stage of transitioning a church to missional communities, a key role for the bigger gatherings is telling the stories of the pilot communities.


The fourth stage of leadership is a prophetic phase.  Its focus is releasing vehicles, as one community of disciples multiples.  The primary work is supporting those you have led (your disciples) to develop their own vision (that they will cast, becoming first-stage leaders) as they listen to what God is putting on their hearts, ensuring that the necessary ‘cover’ (or structure for ongoing accountability) is in place for them as your own relationship with them changes from day-to-day discipler to more removed mentor or overseer (Jesus leaves his disciples, but sends the Holy Spirit).  Note: the question of providing the right cover for those leaders we release is one that, to date, the fresh expressions and pioneer ministry movements have not adequately engaged with; it is also the key element of fourth-stage leadership that, in failing to put it in place, led to the most costly relationship breakdown with people we had led Jo and I have experienced.


It is important to go through the stages – not in a mechanistic sense, but not attempting to short-circuit the process Jesus models.  Short-cuts (such as attempting consensus decisions from the outset) result in the people we lead having a vehicle for discipleship without understanding the values that drive discipleship (akin to a car without an engine – which is an expensive box), and this leads to problems that undermine the whole process of discipleship.  Short-term gain ends in long-term loss.


Which stage of leadership is most suited to your natural preferences?


Which is least suited?


From whom can you learn (be discipled by) how to grow in competence within your strengths?


From whom might you learn (be discipled by) how to grow in competence in those stages/styles that lie further outside of your comfort zone?


(Not because we are one-man bands – I believe in complementary leadership teams – but because we are all called to grow more into the likeness of Christ, personally as well as corporately.)

Discipleship Is

Three key observations concerning discipleship:


Discipleship is relational


Jesus models a life-on-life relationship of invitation (“come and spend time with me”) and challenge (the call to repent of an earth-bound perspective on life and believe a kingdom-of-heaven perspective).  Paul models the same approach, inviting others into relationship, and challenging them to imitate him as he imitates Christ.


Discipleship is relational...contrary to the belief that Jesus disciples us directly through the Holy Spirit (Jesus explicitly charges disciples with the responsibility of making disciples); or that we can be discipled remotely by Christian authors (they can be helpful to us, undoubtedly, but it isn’t discipleship – not least because they cannot engage us in discussion or hold us accountable, essential ingredients in the difference between passing on information and handing on transformation); or that we can deliver discipleship through packaged courses.


Genuine discipleship consistently points the disciple to Jesus, not through abstract ideas, but through embodied evidence of transformation – imperfect yes, but real life examples.  The good news (the invitation here) is that we all have relationships, and that you don’t need to be an expert.  The challenge is to make some of our relationships intentionally discipleship relationships.


Discipleship is directive


Again, this is because discipleship is concerned with handing on transformation, not passing on information (which can be passed on in other ways).  The key questions of discipleship are: what has the discipler learnt, that the disciple needs to learn at this moment? and, how might the thing that the discipler has learnt be applied in the life of the disciple?  This second question is important for two reasons: firstly, because we are not concerned with the acquisition of knowledge (what to believe) but with the application of wisdom (how to believe); and secondly, because the outworking of the same wisdom will look different in two different lives.


The implication of discipleship – disciples who go and make disciples who go and make disciples – is that it is not a peer relationship, not a mutual discipling of one another (however valid mutual edification is).  In over-prioritising mutual edification, we have effectively contained the momentum of discipleship (rather than one discipling a few, each of whom disciple a few, we tend to gather in groups that ‘disciple’ one another within the contained group, or to seek – potentially conflicting – investment for ourselves from several other voices at once).  Discipleship is directive: it is about being led, about following, and about learning to lead, to call others to follow.


Andrew was John the Baptist’s disciple before becoming Jesus’ disciple: I would suggest that Andrew and John were not simply filling time, but that John took Andrew as far as he could – teaching what he had learnt, pointing (literally) to Jesus – at which point someone else (in this case, literally Jesus) took over the role of his discipler – a relationship which lasted three years, before the nature of that relationship, too, moved on.


Likewise, I would suggest that our expectation should be that we learn from someone who is sharing their life with us, and that we invite a few people at a time into our lives to learn from us...and that both the person who is discipling us, and the people we are discipling, will change from time to time as we each in turn journey through the process of becoming disciples who make disciples (a process that moves from unconscious incompetence in any given aspect of our lives, through conscious incompetence and conscious competence, to unconscious competence).


Discipleship involves both being a disciple and making disciples


You can’t make disciples outside of the parameters you have been discipled in (again, not least because all you can do is pass on information rather than hand on transformation)...and you can’t be a disciple unless you are learning to make disciples (that is, you are not the end product or point of this process).


Who is discipling you?  Who has discipled you in the past?  Who are you inviting into your life, to disciple?

Disciple Making For Introverts

Jesus made disciples, and sent them to make disciples who would in turn make disciples.  This is the way of life we are called to.


When I look at the Gospel accounts of the start of this process for Jesus, I see:
that a group of people are drawn to him, and invited to spend time with him;
and that, from out of that group he calls specific people who he will focus investment in, people who are shown him by his Father as he prays about who to invite.


This would seem to me to be the model Jesus gives us.  But Jesus is clearly very at home in social gatherings, is clearly the sort of person to whom others are drawn; and I am an introvert.  Not only that, but I know that I am not alone!  So how do we navigate the first stage of discipleship as introverts?


Not everyone is drawn to extraverts.  Indeed, some people are repelled by extraverts.  There will always be people who are drawn to introverts – and not only other introverts – but this will almost certainly be a slower process and a smaller number of people than will gather to extraverts in general and certainly to apostles who are, among other things, natural people-gatherers.  And if this is our only model, we will be frustrated!  Certainly, we have found that it takes a long time to see people respond to our repeated invitations to share our lives with them (my wife is not an introvert, but having been married to me for so long has made her more attuned to introvert preferences); but also that the few who do have often (though not always) become very committed friends.


Starting with a smaller group of people to choose from, I think there is a temptation to hope to invest meaningfully in each of these people.  Experience tells me that this is a mistake, and one that sets us up for disappointment.  Indeed, it has been those people where I have had a very clear sense of God’s voice saying “I have sent this person to you” that have proven to be the most lasting relationships.


Throughout this initial, perhaps speculative or at least preparatory stage, we have modelled those values that are core to us: values that include hospitality, and service; values that have marked every community we have nurtured.  Over the years, the number of people who have responded has been relatively few; but, we have seen those who God has given us to disciple reproduce those values, in a host of diverse expressions, all over the world.  And again, this is what we see modelled by Jesus, who, though he drew large crowds, invested in a few, and in so doing touched – and continues to touch and to transform – the whole world.


So be the person God created you to be, with your preferences and interests, and watch to see who is open to you.  Then be unswervingly true to who God has made you – not because they need to become your clone, but because the discipler sets the culture, in order that, having assimilated the values, the disciple expresses those values in their own ‘voice’ and so becomes a discipler in turn...

Commemoration : Imitation : Discipleship

Today in the Church Calendar is the commemoration of Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the Lutheran Pastor who was executed by the Nazis on this day in 1945.  Bonhoeffer was a prophetic voice in a dark time, and continues to inspire those who are called to call the church to repent and believe, to forsake the false comfort of nostalgic patterns to take hold of that for which Christ has taken hold of us.


I am thinking, how do we commemorate a life?  I believe we best commemorate a life not by enfolding it within those very nostalgic patterns, but by identifying something in that life that we choose to imitate.  And by imitate I do not mean slavishly attempt to copy – we are called to grow into ourselves, not into someone else’s calling – but to ask, what would that look like for me?


Recently, Jo and I, along with our good friend Mark Carey, have been reflecting on what we experienced, and he observed, in Sheffield when Mike Breen was Rector at St Thomas.’  Mike lived by the apostle Paul’s pattern, “imitate me as I imitate Christ.”  Mike called people to join his team, and he and Sally invested their lives in us.  We were regular guests in their home.  I was part of a group of people who Mike met with on a weekly basis – and Jo was part of a similar group Sally called together – and week by week they would share with us what God was showing them.  Week by week, we were brought to Jesus; and we saw the difference that Jesus made in our lives, we watched transformation take place in the lives of others.


In time, we were challenged to go and do likewise, to invite people into our lives, to bring them to Jesus.  Not that we were completely Christ-like by any means – and neither were Mike and sally – but because this was Christ’s model, investing in a certain group of people, making disciples who in turn would make disciples.


Since we have left Sheffield, we have not experienced anywhere else what we experienced there.  In college placements and curacies we have experienced vicars who chair business meetings, but not that sharing of life, not that bringing their team to Jesus.  Our observation is that it isn’t even on the radar: not for church leaders, and not the expectation of church members.


What has this to do with imitation?  Well, we are convinced that we are called to imitate what we saw in Mike and Sally, as they imitated what they saw in Jesus.  We are convinced that we are called to call people into life-on-life relationship, and in that context to bring them to Jesus, over and over again; and to challenge them to do likewise.  We are convinced that this is how it should be.  But, I am not Mike; and Jo is not Sally; and we are not in Sheffield.


Mike is an apostle.  He is larger-than-life.  He is someone to whom people are easily drawn, to whom people gather.  Mike and Sally are both big-hearted people, and in Sheffield they were able to throw their home open to lots of young adults who were asking questions about life, and looking for something other than just the bubble that student life can be.


I am a prophet, intense, introvert.  My tutor at college summed it up well when he wrote that the more he got to know me, the more he appreciated me, the more he recognised of real value in me: but it wasn’t (and is never going to be) something up-front and out there.  In some ways, people have to work quite hard to get to know me.  And in part, that is something I have to work to bridge; but in part that is simply me.  So it takes time for people to be drawn to us – and for the time being we are in a season of moving every two years!


The way an apostle will lead a team will be different from the way a prophet leads a team; will be different from the way an evangelist or a pastor or a teacher leads a team.  But teams do not simply exist by bringing people together: they are built, and they are built through a process (we call it the Square).  At different times, at different stages in the process of building a team of disciples, we are required to lead them in different ways.  At least some of the time, we will be operating outside – perhaps well outside – of our comfort zone (and these are the times when we are stretched most, when we go deeper into Jesus).  I may not be an apostle, but if I am to call people to follow me as I follow Jesus – if I am to model a particular culture, to instil particular values we might cohere around so that as we move forward we don’t pull apart – then I must allow the Holy Spirit to draw me into an apostolic phase.  Just as an apostle will need to allow the Holy Spirit to draw them into a pastoral and/or teaching phase when the going gets hard and those who have gathered are questioning their decision; just as we are, perhaps (thanks, Mark, for these suggestions), led into an evangelistic phase as we send our disciples out to find their own People of Peace; and, perhaps, a prophetic phase as we release them to pioneer the territory God has called them to chart so that new communities of faith can be established.


While I am not called to copy Mike, I did get to observe him for years.  There are things I can learn from him – some things that are transferable and some things that are translatable – that can help me to operate in apostolic phases, even if they are never going to come naturally to me.


While I am not called to copy Bonhoeffer, I am invited to commemorate his life: exploring with God what I might learn from him and how I might apply those things in my own life.

Feed My Cat

My five-year-old son has just taken on responsibility for feeding our kitten.  This involves pouring dry cat-food from a fairly large bag into a fairly small bowl.  For the time being, it also involves quite a lot of cat-food being spilled over the floor.

Jesus took his disciples from unconscious incompetence (I do not know that God can work through me), through conscious incompetence (I lack confidence that God can work through me) and conscious competence (I am growing in confidence that God can work through me), to unconscious competence (I am confident that God can work through me).

In the initial stages, delegating responsibility for something we can do perfectly well ourselves always means additional work for us.  Perhaps that is why so many over-stretched church leaders don’t hand responsibility on: they can’t face an additional short-term increase in demand on them, in order to secure a longer-term win – a re-defining of their role, and a releasing of others into new roles.  And if we come to see raising people up as our primary responsibility, then what this demands of us will not be additional work, but simply our work.  We may discover that other things we do are additional, and unnecessary or at least less important than we thought, and give them less of our time.

What am I doing that someone else could do – perhaps better than me, given time?

What am I doing that I can train someone else in and give away?

Why aren’t I?

The Square : Defining The Priorities Of Life

‘Lifeshapes’ are a series of tools for discipleship – for helping us to follow Jesus, and to help others to follow Jesus. Recognising that we live in an iconic culture, where brand logos both carry and unlock significant volumes of experience for us – try it: how much information and experience does the Disney logo, or the Apple logo, or the M&S logo recall to your mind? Choose a logo and write a list – they make use of simple iconic shapes to carry and unlock biblical teaching to live by, with a focus on the life and ministry of Jesus. The beauty of iconic symbols is this: that, just as with every new Disney (etc.) release, the reservoir of knowledge their logo carries and unlocks expands; so with every new thing we learn about living as disciples, the reservoir of knowledge the Lifeshapes carries and unlocks for us also expands.

In the Gospels, we see Jesus lead those he calls to follow him from a place of unconscious incompetence, through conscious incompetence and conscious competence, to unconscious competence. These are the stages we go through whenever we step out from our known experience of life into something unknown.

Let me illustrate this by describing learning to drive. As a child, we know what it is like to be a passenger in a car, and we give little thought to the possibility of driving. As we approach the legal age, we might begin to pay attention, to ask questions. But when we are given power (insured on our parents’ car, or given professional lessons) and authority (a provisional driver’s licence) to drive, we have no idea what is actually involved. We over-steer round bends; we stall at lights. This is unconscious incompetence. We quickly move to conscious incompetence: very aware of our inability; our confidence that we will ever learn taking a massive hit. But with practice, with encouragement and instruction, we begin to learn the skills, grow in experience and confidence. At this stage, we still need to concentrate on what we are doing: this is conscious competence. Finally, we reach the stage where we can drive without having to think about driving: we automatically check our mirrors: this is unconscious competence.

At the stage of unconscious incompetence, we need to do what we are told: the instructor is very directional, does not burden us with massive amounts of information. At the stage of conscious incompetence, we need a great deal of encouragement, and to be reminded of the vision, the greater freedom that being able to drive will give us, in employment, in leisure, in the practicalities of day-to-day living in a car culture. At the stage of conscious competence, we need opportunity to drive, to put in the hours (as far as learning to drive is concerned, this stage only really happens once we have past our test: then we must drive: one of the reasons why I always lacked confidence in driving was that I did not have the opportunity to put in those hours when I passed my test). At the stage of unconscious competence, driving is ‘natural’ – though note that precisely because our competence is unconscious, we will find it hard to teach someone else to drive unless we retrace our own steps, recalling to mind the earlier stages we had to pass through, and in particular the stage of conscious competence.

These same principles – stages of learning; and corresponding phases of leading, requiring different approaches – apply to anything in life, including ‘spiritual’ things such as learning to lead others, or learning to exercise the power and authority Jesus gives us to heal the sick.

Jesus’ intention is not that his disciples remain unconsciously incompetent, consciously incompetent, or even consciously competent: but that we reach the place of unconscious competence (with regards to healing, Peter reached the place where his shadow falling across the sick healed them).

These stages define our priorities in any given point: are we leading as directive visionary, or encouraging coach; as delegating releaser, or removed-but-available consultant?