Advent 2024 : 18

 

In the days of Elizabeth, pregnancy and childbirth were conceived as bearing fruit. The fruit of a woman was her children. And Elizabeth is barren. Her life is fruitless. Regardless of the love she shares with Zechariah, regardless of the life they have made together and all the good that has flowed between them and through them to the world around them, she carries within herself the shame of infertility. Shame tells us that we are not worthy of love, not worthy of connection with others. In the dark it grows bigger within us, as does a foetus, ironically. And it keeps our body on edge, alert to the fact that at any moment someone else might discover just how unworthy of love we understand ourselves to be.

When Elizabeth conceives John, she declares that the Lord has taken away the shame she has endured.

The antidote to shame is empathetic connection. Mary sets out, is determined to go to Elizabeth in her confinement. The Lord might have taken away her shame, but in the isolation of confinement – intended as a precious gift of space for the expectant mother – shame might easily return. There are times when solitude is essential, life-giving to the driven soul; but for someone in recovery from shame, isolation can be a killer.

When Mary comes to Elizabeth, there is an immediate connection, between them, between the children in their wombs. Even so, Elizabeth can’t quite see herself as worthy: who am I that the mother of my Lord should come to me?

Mary sings a song of revolution, of a changing of the world. A song of those who are nobody in their own eyes being shown honour by God. A song of such people finding solidarity, finding connection, with others like them. These are the conditions in which the body might be cleansed of its shame. And Mary sings this song over Elizabeth before anyone else gets to hear it. And then she stays with her for three months, just to underline the point.

These days approaching Christmas and into the new year, when many step back from their place of work to spend time with loved ones, can be difficult (not only but not least) for those who carry shame (which is pretty much everybody you will ever meet, by the way). How might we be present to one another, in ways that affirm, ‘You are worthy of love and connection’?