Gracious spaces

These past five days I was in Hamburg as part of a 14-strong delegation from Durham Diocese, visiting our sister-church the Nordkirche (the northern-most German Lutheran church). We spent Sunday afternoon until Tuesday lunchtime at a retreat centre, in conversations around our respective practices of Confirmation (in particular) and youth work (in general). But before that, we were hosted from Friday evening until Sunday afternoon in parishes. On the Sunday morning, we took part in church services and acts of remembrance at war memorials on the People’s Day of Mourning. It was a deeply moving privilege.

First written on 21 November on facebook:

One of the many conversations we have had over these past days has been around reconciliation. In July 1943 the RAF and USAAF launched Operation Gomorrah—named after the biblical settlement destroyed by fire from heaven—against Hamburg. In one raid alone we killed 42,600 civilians, injured 37,000 more, and all but destroyed the city.

I was telling two of our hosts that I think that my Grandfather may have taken part in the bombing of Hamburg [and if he did not, other men like him did]. They were so gracious. By gracious, I do not mean merely polite. I mean that they created around me a space so filled with love that I could face our shared past with all its complex emotions—shame at what the British had done, for in war there is no-one without sin; sorrow for the German losses; compassion for my Grandfather and other men like him who faced impossible choices; gratitude for the peace we have shared, for good that came out of what was not good—and held that space safe for as long as I needed.

Of course, we have also spoken of Brexit. In the UK at present, there is no public discourse on any subject to which Brexit is not the backdrop. The referendum has been deeply divisive both among ourselves and between us and our European neighbours, with hurt caused and felt on all sides. New wounds have been inflicted; and old animosity has been stirred up. And so the issue of reconciliation does not only pertain to the past but to the present and future.

The ministry of reconciliation is always a central vocation of the Church. We in the Church of England have much to learn from our German sisters and brothers about creating and holding gracious spaces in which this can happen.