Today is the lesser festival of Timothy and Titus,
Companions of Paul.
Today I am giving thanks for older Christians who
have invited me into their lives, invested in me as a partner in their
missional journeys, and released me into my own.
Thank you.
You know who you are.
Through my experiences, and most likely building
on my own ‘relator’ and ‘belief’ preferences, I have been ‘hard-wired’ for communitas – that particular quality of
relationship between people that is forged by engaging in a common task in the
context of the difficulty that exists outside stability, such as is forged
between soldiers, or rescue workers, or Paul and Timothy and Titus: marked by a
deep love, trust, respect; by a deep sharing of life. And like soldiers who struggle to re-enter
civilian life, so I miss communitas
when I am surrounded by people who have not experienced it, who know only of community – that particular quality of
relationship that is forged by engaging in our own parallel tasks in the
context of the luxury that exists within stability.
The vast majority of clergy in the Church of
England work hard, but our shared understanding of ministry is ‘hard-wired’ for
working in isolation: to prepare
sermons on our own, to visit the housebound on our own. More recently, and for largely pragmatic
reasons, we have put clergy into ‘teams’ – but without addressing the
underlying paradigm. As a result, ‘teams’
tend to be individuals still working in isolation but now interfering in one
another’s work, to the frustration of everyone.
The feedback I hear time and again from people working in such ‘team’
ministry is of how frustrating it is, reinforcing the default to isolation as
the most effective way of working.
For me, not only is isolation not my preference,
it also goes against my fundamental belief that we should work in real teams,
bringing our different gifts to bear. Yes,
I believe those teams should include the whole church, the laity as well as the
clergy; but that they should include the laity does not mean that they should
exclude the clergy working together,
not simply in the same place. And yet, at the present time, I am
constrained. Communitas takes time to forge, and that only after you have
persuaded others to leave the safety of the known world behind, to follow you
on a quest on the doubtful success of which the ongoing existence of that
familiar community (ironically) lies.
And so I am learning – slowly, painfully, still far
from ‘I have learned’ – that God works through us even when we are
constrained. For while I am not in a
literal cell, as Paul was – and as other Christians have been much more recently,
and even are today – I find myself in a cell without walls. But God is not constrained by walls –
physical or otherwise – and neither is his working through us. It
doesn’t look like what we might hope for or choose; but if we only lived as we
hoped for or chose we would miss out on so very much of who God is and what he
longs for us. He is enough, and that
is more than enough. Which doesn’t make
it easy – I am no saint. But it does
mean that despair has no place, nor self-pity, nor what we see from an earthly
perspective. As so often, what looks,
from that perspective, complex and/or
easy (“if my circumstances were x
rather than y, everything would be
much better; but they aren’t”) is in fact simple
but hard (holding on to the truth that God is enough).
Our God-given preferences matter – I do believe
God wants to release us to fulfil their potential – but how they are best put
to use is not necessarily how we might believe them best released. Difficulty is, after all, the necessary
context for communitas...and though I
am constrained, I am not left alone in
the world. Though at times the lure
of community is tempting, in times such as those we live in, it would be a poor
exchange.
Which brings me back to celebrating the lesser
festival of Timothy and Titus, Companions of Paul; praying that I, too, may be
a ‘Paul,’ who pours my life out into other men and women, investing in their
call to partner with God in his mission.
Heavenly Father, who sent your apostle Paul to
preach the gospel, and gave him Timothy and Titus to be his companions in
faith: grant that our fellowship in the Holy Spirit may bear witness to the
name of Jesus, who is alive and reigns with you, in the unity of the Holy
Spirit, one God, now and for ever.
Andrew I think this is really necessary, but it's so hard to work towards when people are so scared by it. They know it involves honesty and vunerablity and often I find church leadership just not wanting to go there. When I've talked to people senior I have been told it is unrealistic to what to develop communities like that in the 'real world' and yet it's what I'm desperate to do - because it's what I long for but because I think it's what we're called to do for the sake of others and the kingdom. So I share some of your frustration but know you're not alone in trying to get there!
ReplyDeleteHi Jen,
DeleteThanks for dropping by! It is good to know we are not alone...
The Book of Ecclesiastes observes that there is a time to tear down, and a time to build up. I think this applies at the micro- and the macro-level. And I think that our generation is called to tear things down...so that the generation coming up after us will be able to build things up.
I think that as a generation, we have been shaped - both positively and negatively - for tearing down; and that what matters is that we tear down in a godly way, and with consideration that carefully dismantling a building might be better than simply blowing it up (though not always - but then again, blowing a building up requires careful positioning of the charges).
I'm not convinced that we will see the fulfilment of what we long for. In a sense, that is the limitation of history within eternity. But embracing that limitation releases us from doing things primarily for ourselves (self-seeking, self-serving), to play our part for those who come after.
(I also think the generation coming up after us is being shaped - both positively and negatively - for building up; and their challenge will be to do so in a godly way, not constructing a Tower of Babel.)